1.png: I had forbidden it until now, but, -> I had forbidden it until now, but (remove comma. Also, the margins are a bit tight; reduce font size ~1pt. Consider reducing the size of the other bubble in this panel to match.) It's over! -> Is over! Although I jumped out to my sister's decisive voice... -> Although I leaped at my sister's decisive voice... 2.png I decided to go/to a high school/near my house/starting/this Spring. -> I decided to/ go to a high/school near my/house starting/this Spring. (see if this lining works; the goal is to avoid the orphan "starting," which is narrower enough than the rest of the block that it looks odd. Also, you seem to have removed a couple lines that were not part of the text, but I believe were meant to indicate motion of the parasol.) suu -> deep breath This will be/an impor-/tant step/to become/an indepen-/dent woman. -> This will be/an import-/ant step/in becoming/an independ-/ent woman. fuu- (The extender line isn't parallel to the direction of reading, which makes it look like it's there on accident. I would recommend either reorienting it so that it extends in the direction the text is flowing [continuing the curve, if possible] or removing it.) 3.png No, it may be/that my/fated person/has already/picked up/my handkercheif... -> No, it may be/that my/fated person/has already/picked up my/handkercheif... (Put "my" on previous line) 4.png kya- -> kya (remove extender line) 5.png I'm glad-but this comes first. -> I'm glad—but this comes first. (Hyphen to emdash; if the font's emdash looks ugly, use a hyphen set to 200% width. You may have to shrink the font size slightly if the margin is too tight.) It was the first time I was hugged... -> It was the first time I've been hugged... (In addition to changing the text, try to change the lining to avoid the orphan "time") It felt wonderful, this really is fate. -> It felt wonderful. This really is fate. (comma to period) 7.png At any rate, you can't leave your laundry for Yoriko. We're not at the dorms—when you're home, we take turns, okay? (This text has something of an hourglass shape; try to reshape it so that it echoes the shape of the container, which in this case is a round bubble. If you can shape it so that it's wider in the middle, where the bubble is widest, and narrower at the top and bottom, that will look better.) Haa,/well,/this is/how/it goes/at first. -> Haa,/well/this is/how it/goes at/first. I've treated you so preciously growing up that I've set a lot of limits for you. (Try to reshape this to avoid the hyphenation. Maybe something like: "I've/treated you/so preciously/growing up/that I've set/a lot of/limits for/you," if that will fit.) 8.png ハッ gasp 10.png I was both happy and hurt.♪ (Tighten the distance between the text and the music note.) I'm so happy that someone I like as much like you, Yoriko-san, managed to become my sister! -> I'm so happy that someone I like as much as you, Yoriko-san, managed to become my sister! ("like" to "as") Anyway, I take care of poth of you, so you two are basically sister. -> Anyway, I take care of poth of you, so you two are basically sisters. ("sister" to "sisters") gigle -> giggle Ahh...I wish we will be able to meet again. -> Ahhh...I hope we will be able to meet again. 12.png I would'nt let some weirdo touch the neice I've been raising for so long. -> I wouldn't let some weirdo touch the neice I've been raising for so long. (Move apostrophe between 'n' and 't') The name of the school, this means... -> The name of the school—this means... (Comma to emdash) It might be that the heaven is on Suzu's side. -> It might be that the heavens are on Suzu's side. 15.png kyaa- (remove extending line) 17.png Ah, what's that, it's beautiful! -> Ah, what's that? It's beautiful! 18.png Ahhhh, being an ant just is'nt worth it. -> Ahhhh, being an aunt just isn't worth it. ("Ant" to "aunt," shift apostrophe) If I end up spying her, she would feel bad, right? -> I'd feel bad for Suzu if you went peeping. smooth -> smoosh 20.png If only I had been able to love in spite of all the pressure around us. I couldn't face such eyes. -> I couldn't even love her due to the all pressure around us. I don't want to put her through that. 21.png But it doesn't matter how many people I care about, -> But it doesn't matter how many people I care about. (Comma to period.) smooth -> smooch crinckle -> crinkle 23.png aaaa♥ aaaa♥ (There's a gap in the bubble left over from the original あ, which intersected it; coupled with the intersection the white stroke on the 'A' makes, this is very noticeable. I recommend either redrawing this border, or arranging the text in a way that covers it up.)