--Not that specific thingies -- Generally I think that the '~' sign should be placed a bit lower down, and maybe be a bit bigger, but I think it might be bothersome changing something in the font... Alright, I now noticed that there is a big '~' sign in the "Night Falls" scene that you've been hiding all this time! Use that sign instead of the small '~' sign that is floating about. Just, in some places there's a different '~' used that doesn't look very good at all, that's what I'm trying to say. Gonna stay on the lookout for those now that I've noticed, but as of the "Night Falls" scene there has been like three instances of that sign. -- More specific thingies -- The line: 「Out of the entire student body, she seems to be the person most suited to being called "Onee-sama," even though she's a year below me.」 is devided awkwardly: 「...to being called "\nOnee-sama," even if she...」 Linebreak occours after the '"' sign. Same thing occours some time later, in the scene "Wither Hath My Reply Gone?" with the line: 「Thoughts like "This is so embarrassing!" or "\nThis is against the school rules" never enter her head at all!」 In the scene "A Way Without Words" I'd like to change: 「...causing my nether regions to be flushed with desire.」 into: 「causing my nether regions to flush with desire.」 A few lines later: 「...Keep doing it even harder! nnn, nnha...」 maybe the first n after the exclamation mark should be capitalized? Shizuku's Revenge chapter, somewhere... The line: 「I'm sure she'd look even more delighted if she were eating even nicer food.」 Surely it should be: 「...even more delighted if she was eating even nicer food.」 ...right? Anyways. The chapter "First Night Over" sees that kind of linebreak which I think is kinda awkward again: 「If I didn't keep her busy, she'd probably "\nattack" me, after all...」 The scene "Under the Moonlight" sprouts this: 「Okay!.」 The dot after the exclamationmark should be removed. Also, same scene: 「It was unbelievably soft and warm as if it were melting away.」 I'd like to change into: 「It was unbelievably soft and warm, as if it was melting away.」 In the scene "Night Falls" Eris says: 「... it's like a dream for you to lick me, Shizuku...」 Putting it like that makes it sound, to me, that it's for Shizuku that this is like a dream, although I am pretty certain that it is Eris who think the situation is too good to be true. Now, maybe it's just solved by adding 「... it's like a dream to me for you to lick me, Shizuku...」 would solve that? A few moment's later Eris has a line simply translated as: 「Nnahhhn... nngh... auuu... 'heart'」 It sounds like she says something that's more than... various moans... ("Should I look these lines' numbers up", I wonder...) Later, in the same scene, Shizuku says: 「...mm, mmm... god it feels good... uu... uu... mmn!」 Shouldn't "God" be capitalized? I mean, expressions like those are usually targeted towards the entity named "God". In the scene "Getting Nowhere" we get those funny looking '~' signs again! The line is: 「W-W-What are you doing~~~?」 Later, again, during the sex scene we see those funny looking '~''s again, after the line: 「Eris~~~」 Funny looking '~''s again in the scene named "As Lovers", the line: 「My body... is shaking... nnngh~~ *kiss*」 And the sign occours in the next scene - The Next Morning - line: 「...But still~」 Same scene, something different appears! The line: 「... You really are a care-free person」 needs punctuation! The scene "Two as one", another funny '~' in the line: 「Ya~y 'heart'」