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File: Capture24-Jan-12-00.20.png -(537619 B, 800x600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
537619 No.657  

"Whisper With A Kiss" is my suggestion for the subtitle translation.

A partially translated script has been uploaded at http://wiki.yuriproject.org/kuchibiru_to_kiss_de_tsubuyaite. This translation was worked on by Kuchibiru, who translated Beloved Photograph, and @fkeroge, who translated the drama CD, A Kiss of Eternal Happiness, also featuring Nanami and Yuuna (http://yukkurishimasu.wordpress.com/).

>> No.662  

I can try to arrange staff for SH6, but can you tell me which translator is still available for this project since you said it had been stalled by your team?

>> No.663  

>>662
Of the two, only @fkeroge has remained in contact with me, but the last commit to the script was on 14 January. I have not been able to contact Kuchibiru since September.

>> No.679  

>>663
@fkeroge said he'll continue to work on on this. I'll see if there's one more translator who can help him.

>> No.732  

I could possibly run out and buy a kanji dictionary and help translate this with @fkeroge [would be a great learning experiance and hate to see people suffer from the lack of translations on this game.] though idk if I can do too much. Hickschools a bitch.

>> No.733  

Hickschool. Lolz. Hate you android :/
I meant highschool* :3

>> No.809  

I have resumed my work on Hanabira 6. Since we haven't been in contact with Kuchibiru for five months now, it would really take a load off my shoulders if I can get some other people to help me (I'm currently in college). I'm working on the latter part of the scripts right now (sr009 to the last).

Looking forward to working with you, Kai~.

>> No.825  

>>809
I take it you currently have enough translators, but I could do proofreading / grammar checks.

>> No.828  

>>825

That would really help a lot, but I think AXYPB handles the continuity checks on the Sono Hana translations. I'm sure that you can still help him out, though.

>> No.835  

>>825
On the contrary, I'd like to prioritize this project. If you can translate, please do. If you want to edit, I'd like help re-editing My Dear Prince for its remake, but I need a translator for its new lines since the previous translator no longer works on visual novels.

>> No.849  

Mhm, がんばろう. Though I can't guarantee that I'll make that big of a help. Focusing on studies to get into a med program.

>> No.872  

hey guys im kinda new to this series only just find it few days ago just wondering if this project is still running or has it been set aside for now?? (oh yea sorry bout my grammar lol usually dont bother with it unless i have to)

>> No.896  

I'm sure this project is still a go if @fkeroge is still available to translate (Though I'm sure he's busy with alot of other things). I'll be helping here and there when I get the chance to.

>> No.897  

>>896
By all means please assist wherever you are able. This project is a high priority for me.

>> No.939  

Mm, Sounds good.
The wiki's down right now so I guess it's a waiting game...

>> No.942  

>>939
In the meantime, I've uploaded the scripts at http://axypb.net/pub/UTF6.zip

>> No.974  
File: S001 1-Joe.txt -(34315 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Just like you guys and gals to know I'm working on English translation for this. I'm working Japanese->Chinese (existing translated game)->English, with some small helping of reading what Japanese I can directly to try to confirm the Chinese translation and glean any extra information I can for direct English translation. I rate my proficiencies Japanese 10% (maybe oral at 30% since I listened to so much Chinese subbed anime/games but never bothered to learn Japanese writing seriously...) Chinese 99% (native speaker, although I didn't get very good grades for Chinese at school) English 90% (foreign language speaker but with years of experience in Australia and very good grades at school)

Hopefully with my good Chinese and English there will be little further conversion loss, and I'm crossing my fingers that the Chinese translator was good and the innate compatibility between Japanese and Chinese means I have good material to start work with.

I have reviewed the translated 1st segment and partially translated 2nd segment and added Jap->Chinese->Eng translated scripts here and there with a CNV (ie "Chinese version") marker for people to compare with the existing Jap->Eng translation to see whether the Chinese translator got the meanings at least as right as the Jap->Eng translator. (Also some other changes with a JV marker (ie "Joe's version) where I felt things could be improved independently of the Chinese translation) If you gals feel the quality is there I will keep on going with this route. If you gals don't feel the quality is there I will keep on going anyway and hope a good TLC will pick up where I left off XD

Well here's part 1

>> No.975  
File: S002 1-Joe.txt -(32136 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's scene 2 with alternate Chinese->English translations added and I continued where the previous translator left off. Pretty much completed except for the ecchi scene. I don't read or watch English porn o-.-o

Need some help here guys? Lots of ecchi terms I don't know how to translate to English in Yuri-friendly terms. I could download and play some of the previous English translated SH games to learn but would love it if you guys could give me an impromptu education right here :]

Here's some er... body parts often mentioned in SH with some approximations of the Chinese translations I often see and or possible English translations I've thought heard of

"Omanko": (Chinese) the private / secret place, (English) cunt (ugh), pussy, nether region
"Cli-to-ris" (with perhaps various other Japanese euphemisms I don't know of): (English) ->clitoris, (Chinese euphemisms) pearl of the nethers, pea (some additional adjective needed for this one)

Vagina: (Chinese euphemisms) secret fissure, covert passage...

Cervix (or whatever meets the tongue / finger at the end of the passage): no freaking idea man...

>> No.976  

Saliva--something more erotic than "saliva"?

The juices coming out from below--"juices"? "sweet nectar"?

>> No.977  

>>974
Thank you for joining the project. Your translations appear to be sufficient, but due to the nature of your method, we will definitely need dedicated TLC. Please post your translations on the wiki at http://wiki.yuriproject.org/kuchibiru_to_kiss_de_tsubuyaite

>>975
There aren't any rules for translating sexual terms or sounds thereof, but it is best if you follow the examples in previous scripts. As for cultural euphemisms, the only preferred term is おまんこ → "pussy". For now, use your best guess and keep in mind that they can be revised at any time. We can have a translation check make them consistent.

>> No.979  

AXYPB, so you recommend I look at the previous translated games for ecchi translation? Out of SH 1,2,3 which do you think has the best ecchi scene translations for me to reference and learn? (Haven't played 4 and 5 yet and I want to play in Chinese first)

Is it ok to upload the stuff I posted here on the wiki? Was afraid I'd mess up the formatting...

>> No.982  

>>979
I don't want to make any specific recommendations since they were all done by different translators. That said, since this visual novel is closely linked to the first, you should use that for a reference if you need one.

When you upload a file to the wiki, copy your text between the <file> tags. Don't delete them or the formatting on the wiki page will be lost. Don't include them in your local copy either or ArcTool may throw errors when you compile them.

>> No.986  

Chapter 4 completed and uploaded directly to YuriP wiki. Just sayin' ^^"

>> No.989  

>>986
I'd like a thorough translation check to gauge the accuracy of the Chinese translation.

>> No.990  

Don't look at me I can't check my own translation LOL

I guess that means we're looking for TLCs now, hello, anybody up for it? waves

BTW how do you embed a link to a previous post with a number like that?

>> No.991  

^Eh that was Joe0Bloggs

>> No.992  

>>990
Click on the number of a post to add a reference to it to your reply.

>> No.997  
File: S005 1-Joe.txt -(29038 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

4/5s done ch5 translation. Just wanted to place it somewhere to fetch on another computer...

>> No.999  
File: wordpress-site-title-v3.jpg -(95941 B, 940x198) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
95941

Chapter 5 and 6 completed and uploaded to YuriP wiki.

I've also launched a personal blog to blog about the translation of SH6: http://joe0bloggs.wordpress.com/

The latest post discusses the various Chinese euphemisms used for the H scenes and what euphemisms to use for English. All suggestions are welcome in the comments. (heck any comment is welcome, so far I've got a grand total of one ^^")

>> No.1018  

Well it looks like DeltaCake started working on SH6 as soon as he was done with SH8. That's great :D And AXYPB is QC'ing right after him :)
I've looked through the TLC'd and QC'd ch.1 and added some of my own comments and suggestions.

>> No.1019  

[2012-04-21 11:33:32] <Joe0Bloggs> we also had a discussion with ppl here about "Maria-sama" and think it should be left as is
[2012-04-21 11:33:52] <Joe0Bloggs> except for あの聖母のような優しい微笑み which might be "holy mother"
[2012-04-21 11:35:23] <Joe0Bloggs> btw you and DeltaCake sure got on the case fast :D
[2012-04-21 11:36:09] <AXYPB> The first translation did not leave マリア様 as is, so I don't think we should either.
[2012-04-21 11:36:56] =-= Joe0Bloggs is now known as Joe0Bloggs|afk
[2012-04-21 11:38:18] <AXYPB> The only other visual novel to make an explicit reference to her is Sweet Enchanting Kisses (7), and it doesn't retain it as "Maria-sama" either.
[2012-04-21 11:38:53] <Rika-chama> [09:16:28] <@Joe0Bloggs> so if we leave Onee-sama as is why change Maria-sama :?
[2012-04-21 11:38:53] <Rika-chama> [09:16:46] <@Joe0Bloggs> and lose the reference to Maria-sama Ga Miteru?
[2012-04-21 11:38:57] <Rika-chama> Okay...
[2012-04-21 11:39:00] <Rika-chama> what's the context
[2012-04-21 11:39:12] <Rika-chama> I'm EXTREMELY familliar w/ Maria-sama ga Miteru
[2012-04-21 11:40:11] <AXYPB> Nanami pleads to the Virgin Mary several times, usually to ask for forgiveness.
[2012-04-21 11:40:21] <Rika-chama> okay....
[2012-04-21 11:40:25] <Rika-chama> sounds fine
[2012-04-21 11:40:33] <Rika-chama> what's the Marimite ref?
[2012-04-21 11:40:59] <Rika-chama> the one Joe0Bloggs|afk is talking
[2012-04-21 11:41:00] <Rika-chama> damn
[2012-04-21 11:41:01] <Rika-chama> >afk
[2012-04-21 11:42:00] <Saluki> I assume Joe0Bloggs meant the meta knowledge of Marimite and a yuri series
[2012-04-21 11:42:01] <AXYPB> The references to it are implicit. No explicit call back to it is made.
[2012-04-21 11:42:36] <Rika-chama> b/c if it's just a reference to the Virgin Mary.... that's not a marimite reference
[2012-04-21 11:42:43] <Rika-chama> that's a Roman Catholic reference
[2012-04-21 11:42:44] <Rika-chama> w
[2012-04-21 11:43:05] <Rika-chama> St. Michaels /IS/ a Catholic school, after all
[2012-04-21 11:43:06] <Rika-chama> lol
[2012-04-21 11:43:11] <Saluki> but his concern is correct, if we choose to retain all name sfx such as "-sama", we should keep Maria-sama as well
[2012-04-21 11:43:20] <Rika-chama> erm.....
[2012-04-21 11:43:26] <Rika-chama> there are exceptinos
[2012-04-21 11:43:31] <Rika-chama> exceptions, even
[2012-04-21 11:43:46] <AXYPB> The translations of the first and seventh visual novels translate it.
[2012-04-21 11:44:11] <Saluki> which is inconsistent
[2012-04-21 11:44:16] <Rika-chama> what chapter and line number is it
[2012-04-21 11:44:20] <Rika-chama> lemme look at the actual thing
[2012-04-21 11:44:23] <Rika-chama> since joe's afk
[2012-04-21 11:44:41] <AXYPB> From s001:
[2012-04-21 11:44:42] <AXYPB> <C672> ううっ、こんな悪い子のわたしをお許し下さい、マリア様。=Uu... please forgive this sinner, Mary.
[2012-04-21 11:44:51] <AXYPB> <ECF5> 授業中に、不真面目なわたしを……マリア様、お許し下さい!=Please forgive my lack of attention during class, Mary!
[2012-04-21 11:45:06] <Rika-chama> I'd probably use "Mother Mary"
[2012-04-21 11:45:14] <Rika-chama> since that's usually the way Catholics say it
[2012-04-21 11:45:21] <Procyon> Yeah Mother Mary sounds better there than Virgin Mary or just Mary
[2012-04-21 11:45:47] <AXYPB> I wasn't aware.
[2012-04-21 11:45:49] <Rika-chama> that actually goes under the category of "Religious term"

The style guide will thus be updated: Translate マリア様 to "Virgin Mary" in description and "Mother Mary" when she is being addressed by a character.

>> No.1020  

Hey AXYPB could you extract the Chinese game script from the SH6 Chinese patch for me? I'm doing some translation without the game running but the text script I have is not as good as the final in game version.

Thanks in advance.

>> No.1021  

>>1020
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1581546/vn/sh6/MSD_ZH.zip

Courtesy of Yuuka from 2 months ago.

>> No.1022  

Thanks~

>> No.1032  

Since someone else is already working on the translations very fast, I'd like to continue as the TLC again so I can cross-check for the accuracy of the translations. I'm sorry I haven't been able to help out lately.

>> No.1035  

Hi there @fkeroge, nice to see you back. I say start work anytime you like :)

Would DeltaCake care to pop in to #yuriproject for a chat someday? It's a bit hard on me for the TLC to be this faceless guy... plus there may be some points of contention in the translation we can talk about more thoroughly than through comments on the translation script posted on the wiki.

I've also been thinking about the sex scene translations. It seems I want to use more euphemisms while other people on the project want to use less. How about, as a compromise, we use more euphemisms for narratives from Nanami's POV and more direct language for Yuuna's lines? That would allow for more variation in the language used as well as add a suitable bit of characterization (fitting the existing characterization that Nanami is embarrassed by sex while Yuuna loves it)

>> No.1036  

@fkeroge do you still use the same email?

>> No.1037  

>>1035
I'm not a translator or anything.I know this is mainly for translators and the like
but I think it would be best for them to be translated as it is.In some scenes from the previous game she indeed gives off embarrassment,but when she is feeling too good,well her vocabulary changes.
So in my opinion it would be best to just translate them like it is said.

This is just my opinion,nothing more.

>> No.1040  

>>1035
Sure thing. Haven't used IRC in a while so I'll need to set that up.

>> No.1043  

>>1037
Thanks for the feedback. However it's almost all slang and euphemisms in Japanese. I discuss the situation in this post
http://joe0bloggs.wordpress.com/2012/04/15/a-kiss-for-the-flower-petals/
although the information there is a little outdated (will update when I have time).
Most of those euphemisms do appear in the Japanese and are hard to translate. I guess I'm in favor of trying to translating them faithfully while the others are in favor of converting them into more common English slang.

>> No.1045  

If you would, please post transcripts of IRC conversations regarding this translation on http://pastebin.com/ or a similar service when I am not present.

>> No.1050  

I'll start checking the scripts now. I should be done by tomorrow (GMT+8) if things go well.

>> No.1051  

D-Done by tomorrow? You mean all 14 chapter? Sounds awesome :O

>> No.1055  

Done with the first pass. All seems well. I may have to check again for some of the nuances and things lost in translation later.

>> No.1091  

Can someone with better Japanese than me explain the literal meaning of "Kuchibiru to Kiss de Tsubuyaite" and what each word stands for? I'm wondering if the draft English subtitle can be improved upon. Also I made a title drop in my draft translation of the final chapter.

>> No.1092  

>>1091
This is a log of a discussion about the title with the prior translators.

>The tentative title of the 6th game is: Whispers on Lips and Kisses OR Whispers with Lips and Kisses. If I can think of something catchier I'll let you know. Kuchibiru 10:23, 10 August 2011 (EST)
>In my opinion, the translated titles are redundant. I suggest contracting it for the English release, e.g. "Whisper With A Kiss." -AXYPB 02:48, 15 August 2011 (EST)
>Yeah, unfortunately most of the games' titles are in that manner. I agree with contracting it, and "Whisper With A Kiss" sounds excellent. --Kuchibiru 06:49, 15 August 2011 (EST)
>Looks good to me. I have no objections.--@fkeroge 15:36, 15 August 2011 (EST)
>> No.1093  

I may be a bit late, but I'll throw my opinion out there anyway. IMO "Whisper With A Kiss" loses some of the implications of the title. I think that "Whispers of Kissed Lips" might work well, or if you really want to drop the "lips" then "Whispers of Kisses" might work as well. Just figured I'd throw out a couple ideas.

>> No.1097  

>>1093
The subtitle can be changed at any time. If we can come to a new consensus as to what the subtitle should be, I will make the necessary changes.

>> No.1098  

I need a translation for the ending song name "潤う夕空".

>> No.1102  

>>1098
Damp Evening Sky

>> No.1107  

>>1093
A TL could look through the last few lines of the last chapter and see if the title drop I made is appropriate. It would seem to work nest with “Whisper with Lips and Kisses“ so far.

>> No.1108  

>>1107
work best*

>> No.1120  

>>1107

"Whisper with Lips and Kisses" doesn't really sound that great to me. It may be a closer translation to the original title, but personally, I think this English version just sounds odd.

Compare to "Whisper With A Kiss", and... it's just got a substantially better feeling about it.

Why is there a need to change it?

>> No.1122  

>>1120

I think the name of the title is fine as is aswell. It sounds far better even if a bit of meaning of lost.

>> No.1128  

As an editor it is my job to make natural English while retaining the meaning of the original Japanese. Lips are a recurring theme both literally and as a euphemism in this game and series and really should not be dropped.

As I already said "Whisper With A Kiss," while sounding natural in English, clearly loses some of the meaning of the original. On the other side "Whisper with Lips and Kisses" is true to the Japanese words, but lacks coherence on the English side.

After playing with the title for a while, the best compromise I came up with was "Whispers of Kissed Lips." It is still slightly clunky but at least it gets across a real idea. I'd be interested to hear any other title ideas that keep the "lips" part in it.

>> No.1132  

I agree "Whisper with Lips and Kisses" is what we should go with since it's the most faithful translation. Or to make it sound slightly better, "Whisper of Lips and Kisses".

>> No.1134  

Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter either way. Literal translation is always a good fallback.

And, at the end of the day, people aren't going to be attracted to this work by title alone, unlike say a novel. This vn already has an established fan base that doesn't mind, as long as it's correct in some way.

So, whatever it eventually gets called, I'll likely enjoy playing it. Thanks for the hard work, guys. :)

>> No.1135  

Lips Whispering Kisses
Lips Whispering With a Kiss
or any phrase that puts “lips“ before “whisper“ and “kiss“ after, which sounds less redundant to me.

>> No.1136  

yep doesn't really matter :>

>> No.1139  

I support either 'Whisper with a Kiss' or 'Whisper with Lips and Kisses', in that order.

>> No.1212  

I have done the TLC and editing for s009-011.

And about the title, Kuchibiru to Kisu de Tsubuyaite, "A Whisper with a Kissing Lips" is the very literal translation now that I have gained more experience with the language. With this in mind, I think "Whisper with a Kiss" is quite appropriate.

>> No.1214  

>>1212
Thank you for your work on the TLC, but I did notice a few things in s009 so I'd like to go over the rest as well. However I will be busy in the coming weeks so it may take some time.

>> No.1216  

Okay, then. Must've slipped past my radar. I'll leave the final QC to you. However, please note that I left some of the lines as they are if the present translation works better in context. I'm not exactly aiming for a very literal translation.

>> No.1217  

Uhh, this is a trivial problem, but it seems that for this game, "保健室" is mostly translated as "school clinic" instead of "infirmary" like how I remember it from the other games. There is one instance of the word being translated as "infirmary" in s004, but all the other instances were translated as "school clinic". What should we do about this?

>> No.1219  

I've finally finished TLC-ing and editing the rest of the scripts! All that's left to be done is QC (which should be done very quickly if things go well) and patch programming! Thank you for all the hard work, everyone!

>> No.1227  

Means more Hanabira in the near Future? Thank you vry much :)

>> No.1232  

>>1217
I want to change all instances of "infirmary" to "clinic" or variants thereof, and I plan on editing prior scripts to reflect this. Please change this wherever you see it.

>> No.1238  

I'd like to test sharing my scripts on Dropbox as a backup for the wiki. My version of the scripts are in this public folder. https://www.dropbox.com/sh/el63io35ah91owa/cGIL8JH-Lm/6

If you have a Dropbox account, I can add you as a collaborator so you can modify them at any time.

>> No.1259  

Is the following acceptable for the credits?

jackcdz
Joe0Bloggs
Kuchibiru
- Translation

Proger_XP (http://vn.i-forge.net/tools/)
- Tools, patching, and assistance

Deltacake
@fkeroge
- Translation check

Virus123
- Editing

AXYPB (http://petalsgarden.axypb.net)
- Graphics, editing, and assembly

>> No.1261  

>>1259
Capital C please. Otherwise great.

>> No.1262  

Should probably put yourself as "- Graphics, Quality check, and assembly". Not that it really matters but QC is more accurate to the role you play on this one.

>> No.1268  

>>1259
jackcdz should be jackcdx (I'm a bit confused about this too but this is what he requested) otherwise all seems fine. Thanks!

>> No.1286  

If anyone would like to have a personal website included in their credit, let me know.

>> No.1299  

I noticed that I neglected to include Commentator for a quality check credit. Please accept my apologies.

>> No.1303  

>>1299

Ah, well then. Please use the link that I use in this board. Thanks.

>> No.1309  

>>1286
http://joe0bloggs.wordpress.com/

Now if I would just get my fat ass around to checking the translation checking... ^^"

>> No.1358  

>>1212
I know I'm not involved w/ this project, really, but it seems something like:

Lips that Whisper Kisses

Is a better tl for 唇とキスで呟いて
Feel free to shoot me down or whatever if I'm way off... it's kinda stretching the で participle a bit, but I think it works.

>> No.1359  

I asked Rika-chama for some help figuring out a good title. "Lips that Whisper Kisses" is accurate and works well in English so we should go with that.

>> No.1361  

>>1358
That would be something like 唇で呟いてキス.

The original title is fine.
>>1212 sounds a bit weird, you can also think of it like:
"Instead of telling her that I love her, I kissed her".
Giving:
"I whispered it to her with a kiss."
Whisper with a kiss

>> No.1362  

I agree with Procyon. His points are good, and they make a lot of sense.

Which is more than I can say for the phrase "whisper kisses". Really, don't do that. It's not actually sensible. At all.

But, carry on I guess. See you in another couple of months.

>> No.1363  
>"I whispered it to her with a kiss."

Actually if you are going for this meaning you would want "Whispered with a Kiss"

"Whisper with a Kiss" would be more like "whisper produced by a kiss" when you are looking for "whispered by means of a kiss"

The connotation is a bit different.

>> No.1365  

>>1363
"Whispered with a Kiss" sounds bad as a title.

"Lips that Whisper Kisses" I imagine something weird with this, maybe it makes more sense like this: "Lips that Whisper a Kiss" but that doesn't work as a title.

"Lips Kiss like a Whisper" probably sounds weird.

I like the original best, Whisper With A Kiss.

>> No.1386  

...apart from talking about the title, the translation checking and editing itself seems to have been stagnant for a while. If the TLC and editing folks won't be free for a while, what say you that we ask AXYPB to code an alpha patch based on the current translations first? The fans may be getting a bit feisty...

>> No.1388  

>>1386
Oh I've actually been working on it recently, but the wiki's been offline so I couldn't put it up.

>> No.1389  

>>1388
I've changed the host for wiki a few days ago, this new one should be more stable. Make sure your hosts file don't contain the old IP for wiki and flush your DNS if you still can't access it. In the future, you can use http://www.downforeveryoneorjustme.com/ to check whether the site functions normally or not.

>> No.1393  

>>1386
I cannot support this idea. Should a patch be made, it must be kept private among those already working on the translation. I do not want to risk this alpha patch being downloaded by a large number of users who will not return to download the first official release. Worse, I fear that someone will apply this unfinished patch to an illegitimate copy of the visual novel and distribute it as a finished translation.

>> No.1395  

I don't seem to be able to edit s013, receiving a 403 Forbidden error when I hit submit.

>> No.1396  

>>1395
Post it on Pastebin or a similar service and I'll update it for the Dropbox in the meantime.

>> No.1398  

>>1395
Found the problem. The string "p skirt" in line A1E7 broke this page. Editing will be normal if you avoid that string.

>> No.1399  

The wiki still disagrees with me on that page, so I put it on pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/9FZ1rsus

>> No.1400  

>>1399
I pasted that in wiki just now.

>> No.1576  

At Saluki's request, I've prepared an interim patch containing the English translation as of 29 August 2012. It is meant to aid proofreaders in editing the script.

http://axypb.net/pub/SH6_29082012.exe

Please keep in mind that this is a beta and is not to be taken as a finished product. Report all issues in this thread with screenshots where possible.

>> No.1580  

I just tried my hand editing chapter 6, virus123 please comment, thanks.
http://wiki.yuriproject.org/kuchibiru_to_kiss_de_tsubuyaite:s006

>> No.1582  

I've created an information page for the beta patch requested by Saluki as well as future patches. The previous link is no longer valid.

http://axypb.net/2012/08/30/beta-translaton-patch-for-a-kiss-for-the-petals/

>> No.1583  

To any lurkers that may be monitoring this thread:

The patch is very beta and only meant to help people find mistakes. Please do not make the patch more public by doing things like uploading the patched game to torrent sites etc. Thanks.

>> No.1584  

so Im testing the beta at the moment and I don't get any sound on line 7E86, I don't know if it's just me or everyone but please check it out.

>> No.1585  

>>1584
This is a glitch in the program itself; the associated sound file is corrupt. There is nothing we can do to correct it.

>> No.1588  

2 errors of significance s004 <C599> "What were you saying about Onee? uuna-sempai" (as seen within the patch), and s009 <62D8> "Onee-sama's tickled my most sensitive bud with the tip of her tongue" (grammatical error on "onee-sama" adding unnecessary 's)

otherwise other than a few spots where the line break cuts words in half (I'll grab the codes for the few that I spotted this with shortly), excess use of ˜ instead of ~ is the only other cause for concern I've seen

>> No.1589  

Thanks Emvee. That first one should display "What were you saying about Onee— Yuuna-senpai?" Not sure why it's showing like that and the game keeps throwing errors when I inject the script, so I'll ask AXYPB about it later.

The second one could be read as "Onee-sama has" which makes it grammatical, but I'm sure I'll come up with something that flows better when I get there.

The tilde are also an issue that I'm fixing as I go. There shouldn't be any of the ones that show up borked in scripts 1-5.

>> No.1597  

<E518> 「お姉さ……んあっ、ああぁぁぁっんっ!」=「Onee-sam— Aaa... Haaaaaaaaahn!」
The — seems to appear as a ? ingame, also it cuts off as Sa, maybe you can keep it as is instead of adding the extra m?

>> No.1598  

There's an error @ s002 <F957> =My mind was filled these thoughts as I rested in Onee-sama's soft arms.
Missing a "with" which makes the sentence sound somewhat unnatural. =My mind was filled with these thoughts as I rested in Onee-sama's soft arms.

(Above post is also in s002)

>> No.1604  

I've corrected the dash problem by substituting the dash character. Pages s001, s002, s004, s005, s006, and s007 were affected. However, I get error 403 when trying to update s002 in the wiki. I've already updated the rest. If you can update that page, my copy of it is located on Dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/s/us3c07kqkf79xjq/S002.utf

>> No.1605  

Thanks Butatesting, will apply those changes.

>> No.1607  

<94EF> =After that slight climax, my body felt on fire.
Grammar on this one sounds a bit off (to me anyways), perhaps you can change the word or add an "As if it's" to it.
=After that slight climax, my body felt as if it's on fire.
=After that slight climax, my body felt ablaze.
Some possibilities/varieties .

>> No.1608  
File: Gap~.png -(117053 B, 794x177) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
117053

<9B6D> =「Ufufu♪ You're so cute when you're honest~♪」
There's a huge gap between You're and Honest ingame. Will include a screenshot.
Also, Hope it isn't a bother that I'm posting so often, I'm just going through the VN atm and am posting when I stumble upon any bugs or grammar/spelling errors

>> No.1609  

<A5C1> =Each time she did so my secret place made wet lustful sounds.
The sentence seems to read really awkwardly
Maybe a comma between so and my would help.
=Each time she did so, my secret place made wet lustful sounds.

>> No.1611  

s008 <08F0> =Unlike yesterday, today I had a job to do for the Environmental Protection Committee.
Once again, reads somewhat awkwardly. Swapping the location of today should do it (also changing the tense for had to match the change).
=Unlike yesterday, I have a job to do today for the Environmental Protection Committee.
=Unlike yesterday, I have a job to do for the Environmental Protection Committee today.
First one reads somewhat awkwardly too... Maybe it's just cause I'm tired. (The previous posts I made tonight are for mistakes in s007)

>> No.1613  

s008 <2490> =It didn't take me even one hour to go through the big pile of surveys.
Word placement of even kind of scrambles the sentence.
=It didn't even take me one hour to go through the big pile of surveys.

>> No.1619  

s008 <D61D>=This short time before the others came back.
Didn't quite make sense to me... Not really sure how to fix this since the sentence that comes after this relies on this one to be correct. Would adding an In or During at the beginning help?
=During this short time before the others came back.
=In the short time before the others came back.
(I've kind of ignored the original Japanese text to attempt to fix this. Sorry if it's unacceptable)
=During this short time before the others came back. =We spent a wonderful time together.
=In the short time before the others came back. =We spent this wonderful time together.
(Also changed this to a in the second part of the first suggested line...)
...Either way it looks kinda weird to me, maybe someone else can suggest something to fix this?

>> No.1620  

s009 <6B94> =With Onee-sama intensely caressing my already sensitized pussy, I felt like I was going to lose it any moment.
Adding in an at between it and any to make the sentence flow better. Also, sensitized? (Never heard the word before, perhaps Sensitive would also work?)
=With Onee-sama intensely caressing my already sensitized pussy, I felt like I was going to lose it at any moment.
=With Onee-sama intensely caressing my already sensitive pussy, I felt like I was going to lose it at any moment.

>> No.1621  

s009 <7D1E> =My secret place, lost of energy from my intense climax...
2 individual ideas in one sentence, not too sure what it's trying to say and not really fluent in Japanese either. Can I leave this one up to you guys? :)

>> No.1622  

s013 <D971> =Onee-sama's fingers fondled my pussy with delicate touch, bringing out every last bit of pleasure.
Going to add an a between with and delicate to make the sentence flow better, if it's okay with you guys.
=Onee-sama's fingers fondled my pussy with a delicate touch, bringing out every last bit of pleasure.

>> No.1623  

s013 <DCA9> =「Because it makes me happy too to see you like this♪」
Repetition of too/to seems off, 2 suggestions that might work. Swap the word too with also and place it elsewhere, or add a comma between too and to
=「Because it makes me happy too, to see you like this♪」
=「Because it also makes me happy to see you like this♪」

>> No.1624  

s015 <97DD> =With the weight of worries lifted off our hearts, we felt each other even more keenly than usual.
I kind of feel the need to stick an our between of and worries...
=With the weight of our worries lifted off our hearts, we felt each other even more keenly than usual.

>> No.1628  

Sigh, I think that's about all the glitches I've come across... Made a huge mess of this discussion page too (my bad :P). Thank you guys so much for translating this one, can't help but like the story. Hope I've manage to help out alittle... If you need some help QCing in the future, just let me know.(I'll try to be back to QC Sonohana 8, Lol)

>> No.1629  

I've inserted the changes. Thank you for your contributions. Please continue to review the scripts at your leisure.

>> No.1651  

s005 <1054C> =Eating Nanami for dessert is even better than those served at famous hotel.
"a" is missing.
=Eating Nanami for dessert is even better than those served at a famous hotel.

>> No.1652  

s005 <1061A> =Onee-sama smiled, her face like a flower.
One or more words appear to be missing her too... It could be changed to something like this
=As Onee-sama smiled, her face looked like a flower.

>> No.1653  

<1947> =「I can hear your stomach rumbling~」
<1B27> =「Geez, please don't announce it like that.」
<1BC1> =「Of course. Your secrets are a~ll mine, and mine only!」

The flow of the conversation seems a bit odd here; although Nanami originally asks Yuuna to "keep it secret" in Japanese, Nanami says nothing about keeping a secret in the translation and this makes it seem a bit odd for Yuuna to suddenly bring it up in her response. So I think it'd be better if <1B27> would be translated a bit differently.

For example:
<1B27> =「Geez, please keep that to yourself.」

>> No.1656  

Thanks for the suggestions, Peppah, but I don't know which script you're referring to with the last one.

>> No.1657  

My bad, it's s007.

>> No.1658  

s002 <1453> =In this institution, filled with ladies from well-to-do families, being a part of this committee holds great prestige.

I'm not sure if "well-to-do families" is a proper term. I think it would be better call it "upper-class families" or "well-off families".

>> No.1659  

s009 <6886> =Even though we've already gone so far, I musn't cry out loud here...
"t" missing
=Even though we've already gone so far, I mustn't cry out loud here...

>> No.1662  

@Peppah - Well-to-do is fine. It's a common idiom.

@Anon - Fixed.

Would also just like to mention that suggestions for scene I've already edited (001-006 as of this post) are more valuable since I've already looked over them. I'll fix typos and stuff for later scenes if they are reported, but I already know they have poor nuance and flow, and that will be examined closely as I edit them.

>> No.1663  

Well-to-do sounds a bit strange to me, but I googled it and it appears it's indeed pretty commonly used after all.

By the way, will new beta patches get announced in this topic every time a new one is released or do I need to keep an eye on the page where I downloaded it from?
Also, once a new beta patch is released, can I just install it over the old one, or should I always install it over an installation of the game that doesn't have the patch applied yet?

>> No.1682  

s015 <4C7E> =「No question... sniff...」

It's not wrong, but I think it might sound better if it's said differently. I'd suggest
=「Of course... sniff...」

I just finished playing through this by the way and the amount of errors I encountered are far less than I expected. I'd say this is just about ready for release already (after the credits page has been done and the mentioned errors have been fixed of course).
moving onto QC-ing SH8 now

>> No.1687  
>will new beta patches get announced in this topic every time a new one is released

Yes, new beta will always get announced in this thread first.

>Also, once a new beta patch is released, can I just install it over the old one

Also a yes.

>> No.1689  

>>1687
While you will be able to install new beta versions over older patches, I cannot guarantee that the save files will work with the newer version, as stated in the release notes. There is a small chance that the updated scripts will cause older saved data to crash the program.

>> No.1692  

>>1689
I see. So far SH8 beta 2 has worked nicely with all my saves so I didn't think there could be a problem.

>> No.1702  

>>1692
I've experienced a few isolated cases of save files causing crashes across significantly different versions of scripts as I edited past visual novels. This risk, however small, must be emphasized for the public beta.

>> No.1704  

I've edited chapter eight. Virus123, are you still editing s007 in the Dropbox?

>> No.1757  

I think its sad i finally found something good but then theres a adaware on it.

>> No.1758  

>>1757
Could you try with a multi-scanner?
http://virusscan.jotti.org/en

>> No.1859  

So since SH8 is now on the final cleanup stage, I'll continue working on the scripts for SH6 so we can get closer to a final release.

>> No.1868  

I'm finished editing the scripts for SH6. All that's left to be done is final cleanup and the tilde issue (I think this has already been fixed, though).

>> No.1872  

A new beta patch has been uploaded containing the translation on the wiki as of 30 October 2012, 20:05 EDT.

http://axypb.net/2012/08/30/beta-translaton-patch-for-a-kiss-for-the-petals/#sh6

>> No.1873  

As with the pending final release for Dyed With An Angel's Petals, I'd like any available editors to review the scripts for this beta, particularly the love scenes. I will produce a release candidate for this translation upon completion of this.

>> No.1935  

Sorry for dropping out... life's busy.
Glad to see so much progress has been made!
Perhaps it was a good time for me to turn a blind eye to the project as my translations needed editing and it would have been better for me not to be here resisting every change :P

Just took a look at the last chapter... and look, I'm back to my old haunts again! Suggesting reverting to my original script here and there... I think my opinion is justified but why does it always end up looking like I don't want my script changed? ^_^" Anyway do please tell me what you think.

P.S. did I do a good job with the finale love scene? ^^

>> No.1939  

>>1935
So I looked at it again, and fixed some lines. I think it's fine now. And about the love scenes, no offense, but I find the lines a bit funny, but that's mostly due to the original Japanese writing. They're so poetic, and I don't think I want to change that.

>> No.1950  

>>1939
Have you already posted your changes to the wiki? I'd like a list of tasks left on this script.

>> No.1958  

>>1950
Let's see... I believe that there are no more major problems with the script. We just need a native English speaker (American) to go through everything one last time and polish some lines, particularly in the love scenes, that I couldn't. I'm not a native speaker, so some nuances tend to get over me.

>> No.1959  

>>1950
To list:

-final standardization of the English in the scripts (I'm done with most of this. We just need someone to check)
-some lines in love scenes read very awkwardly. This is inherent in the Japanese writing itself, and was a problem with the previous games as well.
-images still need to be edited, which is not really a problem.
-making the patch.

And I think that's it.

>> No.1960  

>>1959
Someone by the name of banjo is committing changes to the love scenes in the wiki as we speak. Once Saluki gives approval for the final version of this script, I'll create the release candidate.

>> No.1961  

>>1960
That's me. I'm just making minor edits here and there so the love scenes read better. I'll try to edit this and SH8 over the next few days.

>> No.1971  

If Joe and @fkeroge are fine with the changes Banjo made, AXYPB, you can make a release candidate.

>> No.1972  

>>1971
I will do this after I make a cursory pass of my own to correct common grammatical and punctuation issues. Thank you for your support.

>> No.1973  
File: MGD_000102.png -(117489 B, 800x600) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
117489

>>1972
10-4, Fapping hand at the ready good buddy.

>Just kidding, I haven't even fapped to Hanabira...
>> No.1974  

I made punctuation corrections and changed the name of the school to "St. Michael's Academy for Girls". With @fkeroge and Joe0Bloggs' approval, I'll finish the graphics and announce the translation formally. As agreed in the past, I will set the release date to 14 days after the announcement. The final cut-off date for all changes will be 24 hours before release, during which time I will prepare the patcher and do final testing.

>> No.1975  

>>1974
Everything looks okay to me. I give the green light.

>> No.1976  

>>1975
Thank you. I ask now for you to review the Dyed with an Angel's Petals script, particularly against K01's notes in the bottom of the thread.

>> No.1980  

>>1976
I've taken everything K01 noted on SH8 and made the necessary changes to the wiki a long time ago. I really think SH8 is ready for release. I've checked and rechecked the script several times already.

>> No.1983  

I give my go ahead too. Let's get this out the door!

>> No.1986  
File: Capture03-Dec-12-11.06.13.png -(793708 B, 806x625) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
793708

http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2012/12/03/my-face-turned-bright-red-as-if-it-were-on-fire/

Release candidate: http://axypb.net/2012/12/03/whisper-with-a-kiss-english-patch-release-candidate-1/

The release date is set for 17 December 2012. Bug reports submitted after 11:59 P.M. EST on 15 December 2012 are not guaranteed to be addressed.

>> No.2038  
File: title_p.png -(74872 B, 577x149) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
74872

Release: http://petalsgarden.axypb.net/2012/12/17/sh6/

Thank you all again for your hard work. Enjoy the fruit of your labor.

>> No.2040  

Thank you so much for your hard work!

>> No.2041  

Archived: http://archive.yuriproject.org/sono_hanabira_6

This thread will be kept indefinitely so that everyone can report bug or translation problem.

>> No.2092  

Thanks for all your hard work on translating and patching the game. On a slightly related note when I go into the settings in the game, and tell it to make it full screen instead of in a window the rest of the screen turns black with the game window maintaining its size in the middle of the screen instead of expanding the picture to fit the 1980×1020 resolution of the screen. This issue isn't related exclusively to the 6th game. I also noticed it when installed and started the 8th game as well. For reference I'm using Windows 8 Professional as an operating system.

As far as translation goes I've noticed the following grammer mistakes in the 6th game:

(In the After the Committee Meeting section) that says: [spoiler] Your juices are about the drip all over the floor . I’m guessing that should have read “Your juices are about to drip all over the floor. [/spoiler] If you guys decide to release a patch any where down the line you may want to correct that, not that its a big deal. To this point I’ve been cracking up at all the funny lines.

Another apparent miss-translation is when Nanami says her heart roil which probably should have been roll…

Finally, in the nurse’s office Nanami said: “you was kissing me so intensely” probably should have been “you were kissing me”. I love the sudden dog waking way Nanami snaps out of her day dreams (especially in the beginning of the game the shocked voice of her realization is great), and the way Yuuna sounds when she’s in her perverted mood (but then again when isn’t she ;)

>> No.2093  

>>2092
I forgot to include (regarding the full screen issue): I’ve tried running it in XP compatibility modes without any success as far as the screen scaling goes…

>> No.2096  

Fullscreen mode seems to work fine for me though the distortion is annoying;
Running Windows 7 Home Premium atm.

>> No.2099  
File: Ugly_font.jpg -(67325 B, 390x283) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
67325

Running under Ubuntu 12.04 in wine produces a blocky illegible text on the loading screen. Are there any particular fonts you need to install?



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