>>5222 Here's to address all your concerns from >>5000
>Itadakimasu
Let's go with my translation then. "Let's dig in." "Let's eat."
>S006
> <46AD> 「エリスはスイレンの名前の由来、知っていますか?」=「Did you know that the water lily takes its name from Eris?」
> <489F> 「由来……?」=「Origin...?」
> <492B> 「ハスに似た花が夕方に閉じるから『睡る蓮』つまり、睡蓮という意味になるんです」=「A flower resembling the lotus, which closes in the evening. So it is known as the "Sleeping Lotus". That’s what the water lily means.」
> <49F7> 「そうなの? 知らなかったわ」=「Is that so? I didn’t know that.」
"Did you know where the water lily got its name from, Eris?"
"Its origin...?" //
"There's a flower that resembled a lotus. Its petals closes during the evening, it was known as the "Sleeping Lotus." That's where the name 'Water Lily' came from.
This is a bit complicated because it's a Japanese naming thing. Suiren (スイレン/睡蓮) is named after the 睡る(nemuru)蓮(hasu). Where 睡 can also be read as "Sui" and 蓮 also being read as "Ren" Which gives the flower its name "Suiren" (water lily).
I'd pretty much prefer to translate it this way.
"Did you know where 'Suiren' (water lily) got its name from, Eris?"
"There's a flower that resembled a lotus. Its petals closes during the evening, it was known as the Sleeping (Sui) Lotus (Ren). That's where the name 'Suiren' (water lily) came from."
It's wordy, and long, but it translates to what the text wanted to say. if you do have other suggestions, do tell.
>S009
> <7479> そして、放課後になって。=And like that, it was now after school.
"Just like that, the classes ended for the day." This is really difficult to reword. That's exactly how it is best to translate already. Although "And so, after school came." works as well. Anything, really.
> <9592> 「それは、おはじきです。弾いて遊ぶのですが……やってみますか?」=「Those are marbles. You play with it like this... Do you want to try?」
> #actually flat discs, not spheres
> #http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiddlywinks I saw this, I think we should use this translation, but I haven't changed it yet. If I were to suggest, marbles should be changed to 'Winks' like what the wikipedia said. -hinata-
>Inclined to agree, whilst I wouldn't know what 'winks' were I could still look it up whereas having marbles, from Shizuku's narrated description of them playing, leaves the scene seeming rather unrealistic.
They're technically "flat marbles" in English. Let's use 'flat marbles' then.
>S010
> <1CCC> 「エリス、どうしていきなり?」=「Eris, why did you come here?」
> <1D5E> さすがに驚きました。=It was indeed a surprise.
> <1DE6> 今夜、エリスを招待しようと思っていたのに、いきなり彼女の方から訪ねて来たのですから。=Although I was going to invite her tonight, she came here so suddenly.
> <1FFA> 「エリス、急にどうしたのですか?」=「Eris, why are you here so suddenly?」
> <209A> 「ウン、ねぇシズク……デートしよう★」=「Yes, hey, Shizuku… Let's go on a date. ★」
I'd keep the current translations because it makes sense. Shizuku said "Eris, Why are you here?" and corrected herself later to "Eris, why are you here so suddenly?" because of her surprise. She speaks in formal Japanese, her first question was quite informal, she corrected herself. This is correct. Although for the last one, I'd say
"Mm. Hey, Shizuku... let's go on a date. ★"
>S011
> <6023> ずっと下を向いて、プルプル震えているのです。=Her face was done for a while and she began to tremble.
"She's been looking at the ground for a while, and then she began to tremble." It's literally "She's been facing downwards for a while and then she began trembling all of a sudden." It was a typo, I guess.
>S012
> <A303> 「ちゅる、れろ……んふっ★ 止めちゃイヤ、でしょう? シズク★」=「Churu, rero… nfu★ Do you want me to stop? Shizuku ★」
> <A6CA> 「ちゅる、んちゅ……あぁ、シズクの奥から……ミルクみたいに真っ白なの、出てきた★ じゅる、全部舐めてあげる★」=「Churu, nchuu… Ah, Inside Shizuku… A pure white milk came out. ★ Juru, I'll lick everything. ★」
"schlurp lick... mmph★ You don't want me to stop, right, Shizuku?★"
"slurp kiss... Ah... A pure white milk came out... from inside you.★ slurp I'll lick everything. ★"
>S014
> <4620> 「はい。冷たいお茶と、水菓子入りのくず寄せを用意してありますよ」=「Yes. I made some chilled green tea and kudzu jelly with fruit pieces in it.」
> #DeltaCake: kudzu is called Japanese arrowroot in English if preferred
> Again, I don't particularly care either way so ?
Just retain "kudzu" since it's the name of a Japanese plant.