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File: Aya Yuri Vol. 3_0049.png -(2226445 B, 1782x2488) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
2226445 No.5109  

Raws by WeatheredPeach: https://mega.nz/#!yEo1VAJY!wd1vsBiJiqC9Y73vNkBhwWOGqKN5ugRL7JM7ADqr69s

>> No.5480  

I'll translate this. Anyone willing to participate?

>> No.5483  
File: Sweet gap.txt -(14715 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here's the translation. There also should be a second part...

>> No.5488  

>>5483

>There also should be a second part...

It's six chapters. I got these raws from exhentai. Uploader jasonwalk.

https://mega.nz/#!iAoQ3CgI!nKco8D13NloC0d1hpP1O9cG5Y3t4mRr7d8UmHIceJOM (Aoko) Sweet Gap ch02 (Aya Yuri Vol. 4).zip
https://mega.nz/#!zNxwkCqT!G6Dlrn9Ab7bjqiUKnhLTL6WyBCpDsxS4e0nhKvyFrOA (Aoko) Sweet Gap ch03 (Aya Yuri Vol. 5).zip
https://mega.nz/#!fBp2RaaA!LxLhPo992el84O83YoF28lBak_b9ihbfEL0g_Qwm5fc (Aoko) Sweet Gap ch04 (Aya Yuri Vol. 6).zip
https://mega.nz/#!fEhigY7a!VJuvUbt-2k9hTkDnUzpE0JeJeaihups-lnizCMIgFUw (Aoko) Sweet Gap ch05 (Aya Yuri Vol. 8).zip
https://mega.nz/#!7d4SQIDZ!gn4UGc2-SlKIF9d6L9iBztRSYmCtqq5gqaSlw_rfou4 (Aoko) Sweet Gap ch06 Fin (Aya Yuri Vol. 9).zip

>> No.5489  

May I edit it?

>> No.5490  

>>5489
Yeah, go ahead.

>> No.5491  
File: Mising sentence.jpg -(228727 B, 925x598) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
228727

Edit is almost finished.

Can you please translate this sentence, on page 68?
周りの重圧で恋さえ 出来なかった そんな目に 合わせたくない

As well as this missing sentence, page 66? (see pic related)

>> No.5494  

>>5491
If only I had been able to love in spite of all the pressure aroud us. I couldn't face such eyes.

p. 66
Unlike me...

>> No.5495  

>>5494

Thank you.

Here it is:
https://mega.nz/#!GgIlGYDY!mBKfbwCJ5HXkNJlNV5K9giWP8KiiiaKyqC7HXSBPccY

>> No.5496  

>>5495

Before going into finer details, there are a few larger things that should be addressed.

https://wiki.yuri-project.net/Editing%20Tutorial provides a step-by-step process that serves as a good guideline for both what releases are expected to look like and how to get them there. It looks like some of the steps listed there are missing or incomplete in this edit. Most significantly, I noticed these:

1) Cropping. On many pages, you can see a serrated edge where the binding originally held the page in place, or a black margin left over as an artifact from scanning. All of the pages should be cropped so that these scanning artifacts do not appear in the release.

2) Leveling. The levels of the images should be adjusted so that white areas, like most of the negative space, are pure white (#ffffff); and black areas, like panel borders, dark hair, and shadows, are pure black (#000000). Many of the black areas in these pages seem to be a dark grey, which indicates that the pages haven't been correctly leveled. This is especially noticeable in contrast to the pure-black text.

3) Anti-aliasing. This is one of the most straightforward fixes. The text on these pages has a jagged edge. If you select an anti-aliasing option while typing the text, this jagged edge will be automatically smoothed.

Once these broad concerns have been addressed, we can move on to more specific things.

>> No.5497  

>>5496
It's such a shame that the editing has been done before this adjustments. Is there someone who's willing to do this? I would like to continue the other chapters' translations, should I wait?

>> No.5498  

>>5497

The editing isn't finished yet. We're still in the QC phase. This is the reason that the QC phase exists; to give the editor the opportunity to make any changes necessary before release.

Whether or not you want to wait to continue translating is up to you.

Personally, I don't think it's a problem to get the translations done whenever you feel like it, and make them available for editing in advance of previous chapters being finished. I also tend to feel committed to translating a series once I start, and producing a translation of the whole work is important to me whether or not the rest of the work can be done immediately.

The downside to this is that you risk wasting time and effort making translations that might not get used. If you want to wait to translate one chapter at a time, that puts a tight bound on the amount of translation work you can waste (one chapter's worth) in the case that other work on the series stops.

There's precedent here for both approaches, and you should feel free to employ whichever feels right to you.

>> No.5499  

>>5498
Ok, I would like to continue for various reasones (also, I like the manga xD). Hope the effort won't get wasted.

>> No.5514  

My apologies for these mistakes.
Cropping, leveling and anti-aliasing are done. Hope it's better now.
https://mega.nz/#!Po5nzYTR!tPFhkocwP-2aSY-EAU6I1iflh3KU9pvPPw7-R904z5M

>> No.5516  

>>5514
I can't judge the quality, but it looks a lot better. I think I really need some QC for the TL because there are lots of parts that doesn't make sense.

>> No.5517  

>>5514
>>5516

Yes, this looks much better. Thank you for the effort.

I agree that the translation is very rough. I'm working on what's shaping up to be a substantial revision to the entire script.

>> No.5518  

>>5517
Thank you very much, it's my first TL and I get that's really rough. Do you think I could continue or it is better for me to step back? I really enjoy translating and I'm trying to do my best. If it's a problem I'll stop.

>> No.5522  
File: sweet_gap_qc1.txt -(11826 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>5514
>>5517
>>5522

Here is a list of changes. I have also taken the liberty of translating all the untranslated sound effects.

I can tell that this translation must have taken a lot of work to do. I can see that the Japanese wasn't easy to understand, and it must have taken a lot of effort to write the English lines.

Unfortunately, the reason I can tell this is that it doesn't look like you always correctly understood the Japanese, and many of the English lines sound awkward. It seems to me like Japanese and English are both languages that you are unfamiliar with, and I think you need more practice with them before you're ready to translate something at this level of difficulty.

I'm not trying to tell you to give up. But based on the script you submitted, I think you still need to study more before you're ready to contribute to translation projects. In fact, you will need to study more than most people do, because most translators learn only one language, and translate to or from the language they have learned and a language they already know. It looks like you are still learning both the language of the original text, and the language into which you're translating. That means that you have to learn two times as many languages as most translators.

But even if it's difficult to learn two languages, you shouldn't give up. Keep practicing, keep studying, until you don't have trouble understanding the original text. Keep working until you can write English that others can easily understand. Learning languages is a lot of work. I hope that you don't give up on translating, but that you continue to practice until you can come back and submit a script that doesn't require as much correction. I love to learn languages and translation, too, and I think it would be sad for someone to give up on them.

In some places, I've tried to explain why I changed something. I would love to answer any other questions you have about these changes.

Additionally, this was not the easiest script to start with. I am an amateur, too, and there were some phrases that were difficult for me to understand. This one in particular I had to guess on:

12.png
遠目じか女の子と分からなったみたいだけど
Doesn't seem like you could tell she was a girl from a distance, though.

I don't understand what that じか is doing. I don't understand the 分からなった (shouldn't it be 分からなかった?). My guesswork line more or less makes sense in context, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing something. If anyone has a clearer idea of what this line is saying, please let it be known.

>> No.5524  

>>5522

That's probably じゃ, not じか. And I think わからなった is a reduced version of わからなかった used in slang or rougher speech sometimes. So I think your translation is correct.

>> No.5526  

>>5522
Thank you for your comment, is actually really nice :) I do find it a bit too difficult actually, and I got some other simplier projects to work on (in another group that's following me step-by-step). That's why I think it would be better for me to stop translating this. Though I wondered if it could be useful to copy the japanese text, so that someone could TL it. It's useful because I get to read and to learn some new kanji. If it's not needed it's ok :)

>> No.5529  

>>5522>>5524
Thank you, I'm on it.

>>5526
Keep the hard work!

>> No.5531  

I have the japanese script of ch2 and 3 here.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1x02tVYEycEjLe9Em02uw1XDj8oM0OpcM
I started translating ch2 but I really find it difficult, so I hope someone would continue. I will keep rewriting the script until the last chapter.

>> No.5535  

>>5522
Almost done.
It seems some sfx are missing. Could you please translate them?

Here they are:
p6: ひ (near of Mihaya)
p8: うる (bottom right)
p10: んツ (top left)
p13: がャ *2 (bottom right)
p19: スルッ (bottom left)

I'm sorry if I made any mistakes while copying the kana.

>> No.5536  

>>5535

6.png:

ひー
Hoo!

8.png

うるっ。。
weep

10.png

カーッ
flush

13.png

がやがや

gab gab

19.png

スルッ
slip

>> No.5538  

>>5536
Thank you.
Here's the third version, ready for QC: https://mega.nz/#!q5YBFCzT!DYfER2mOsBODUAA_dFdxwplZS14tHCLK1yQnHsG2eHA

>> No.5544  

>>5538
p18 Miharu//-san
can't say for the rest

>> No.5545  
File: sweet_gap_qc2.txt -(4753 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

>>5538

Here are some recommended changes. Don't forget the hyphen position change from >>5544 .

There are a few general things I noticed. I drew attention to specific instances of these early on, but they recur throughout the chapter. I'm going to give a brief summary on some of the points I think are most important for this edit below; for more detailed information and examples, I recommend Anon Black's Typesetting Guide ( http://prettyanonymo.us/index.php/scanlation-resources/anonblacks-typesetting-guide/ ) and Red Hawk Scanlations' guide ( https://fallensyndicate.wordpress.com/typesetting-tutorial/ ), if you weren't already familiar with them.

Here are some of the main things I think are most important to focus on for this chapter:

・Text shaping. Ideally, the shape of the text matches the shape of its container. Rounder if it's in a circular bubble, more rectangular if it's in a square caption. A lot of the text in this edit has a sort of hourglass shape: thinner in the center than it is at the top or bottom. This is generally a shape to avoid, unless the container is shaped in such a way that it seems natural.
・Lining. Inextricably related to shaping is the practice of deciding where to split a line. Try to avoid "orphans," or a single word on a particular line; this can lead to hourglasses, or one line that really stands out against the lines above and below it.

Side note: I'm guessing that you used a lot of text boxes when typesetting this. Here ( http://prettyanonymo.us/index.php/scanlation-resources/anonblacks-typesetting-guide/typesetting-201-lining/ ), Anon Black explains why text boxes should used only sparingly, and what Photoshop calls "point text" should be used as a rule.

・Text size. You don't always want to take up as much space in a bubble as you can. In general, text should be the same size, not varying by more than two or three pts except for dramatic effect. Just because the bubble is larger, that doesn't mean the text has to be larger; the original Japanese text often doesn't take up even nearly all the space in a bubble.

Thank you for all your work. We're not quite ready for a release yet, but we're definitely getting there.

>> No.5553  

>>5545
Sorry for the late.
https://mega.nz/#!20BTACpZ!B7YQDsfM7_Q6CIjR6fp2Rxp3p4p4a90XSrqgVvol_xQ

>> No.5554  

>>5553
Released.

>> No.5555  

I was a bit confused, she calls her "her sister" but she is actually her aunt...



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